A Sugar Free Guide to Getting Over a Sweetheart Gone Sour

20.07.2017

Feeling cold and lonely after having your heart broken? Here are some steps to moving on:

 

You're most likely feeling confused and have a lot of questions like, "Why did he go from being a hot potato to cold leek soup in 2.5 microwaveable seconds?" or, "Wait, does "forever and always" have a different meaning from what I thought?"

 

 

 

 

It's a mourning process. Let it all out. Snuggle up in bed with your comfiest pillow, put on your favorite Celine Dion album, and wail along with your fav Leo movie.

 

 

 

Cry your little heart out and don't mind if it's your ugliest weird cry, this is your moment and no one is judging you.

 

 

 

 

People are going to ask how you're doing and you may feel like responding like this.

 

 

 

 

 

Put down the chocolate and go on an iceberg lettuce binge. Free food for us T1D folk.

 

 

 

 

After a day or two, reach out to your friends. They'll distract you from your carbohydrate bonanza and having an A1C >10

 

 

 

 

DELETE HIM!! Gone are the days we can burn paper love letters (but go ahead and do if you have any). Time to clean up that social media and erase any evidence the heart-breaker ever existed. Whatever you do DON'T give into the desire to send that last "How DARE you" email. He'll just respond with more excuses.

 

 

 

 

You may be tempted to call him late at night because you need him to be on you like cheese needs to be on pizza. Resist, and don't compensate with said actual delicious pizza.

 

 

 

 

Lip Sync to your favorite forlorn I-am-coming-into-my-own-and-I'm-amazing song.

 

 

 

 

Binge watch a good comedy series. I recommend: Curb Your Enthusiasm, Arrested Development, and The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

 

 

 

 

Don't go sulking down the ice cream aisle at the grocery store in your sweats and scrunchy. Make sure you're always looking fabulous so if you happen to have that awesome moment where you run into him accidentally he'll be all flabbergasted and regret ever leaving your sensational self. Whatever you do, keep your head high and walk on by.

 

 

 

 

Get your exercise on. It will help balance your sugars and give you a bangin' body for when you're ready to hit the dating scene again.

 

 

 

 

On a budget and don't have the cash to go therapy shopping? Make a wish list on Amazon and fill your cart to your now empty heart's content.

 

 

 

 

Get a massage. Be sure to not take insulin where your body may be rubbed on. I made that mistake once and ended up eating McDonald's while lying prostrate on the massage table. Not a bad combo, actually. But my alla naturalla therapist was scarred after the incident, as in, the fact he entered a McDonald's...

 

 

 

 

Splatter yourself in a mud mask similar to the way he splattered your heart. Then take a bubble bath. Be careful! Hot water will lower your blood sugar.

 

 

 

 

Read an inspiring book before bed. Go ahead and read that tear-jerker. You may want to steer away from any romance novels but it can be cathartic to cry it out over true animal love. I recommend A Dog's Purpose, Marley and Me, and Modoc

 

 

 

 

Discover something new and even better, fictional, to lust over. Currently I just wanna lick Ross's lips from PBS' Masterpiece series Poldark,. He puts me to bed every night satisfied.

 

 

 

 

Instead of getting wasted on wine, be an aquaholic and help get those high sugars down from all of the post breakup stress.

 

 

 

 

Seriously can't smile? Watch more cat videos.

 

 

 

 

Interview yourself in the mirror like you're a Hollywood Star who just won her 20th Oscar. Do your hair BIG and purty and let those lips shiiine.

 

 

 

 

Learn your lesson. Next time you meet a man be skeptical of anything that sounds too good to be true.

 

 

 

 

There is currently an estimated male population of 3,776,294,273 on planet Earth. There are plenty of fish in the sea. One's bound to not be a slippery schemer. Keep your net cast!

 

Your self esteem may have taken a blow. Your trust in yourself and others may be shaken. You may wonder what about you wasn't worth the fight. You may even look at your life and wonder, "But who could ever love the mess that I am?" Just remember, it's the parts of us that are broken that allow the light to shine in. So keep your chin up princess, or the crown slips. You're meant to be treated like the queen you are as often as you treat your blood sugars. And when it feels like there is no one out there who could possibly get you, remember what Dr. Seuss says.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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© 2017 created with 🖤 by Ali Dugger